the biggest loser

warning: i don't want any over-reactive, concerned e-mails over this post; i'm just typing how i felt today.

i was home with a migraine headache today and couldn't do anything productive, it was not awesome. twelve plus hours after my day started, i felt well enough to pick up the apartment and play some music. 'i'm a loser' by the beatles began playing and i was struck by the poignancy of the lyrics. i think they're using 'loser' like the show, 'the biggest loser', that is, someone who loses something is a loser. my 'someone/her' is my illusion of control over my life.

i’m a loser and i lost someone who’s near to me
i’m a loser and i’m not what i appear to be
although i laugh and i act like a clown
beneath this mask i am wearing a frown
my tears are falling like rain from the sky
is it for her or myself that i cry

i’m a loser and i lost someone who’s near to me
i’m a loser and i’m not what i appear to be
what have i done to deserve such a fate
i realise i have left it too late
and so it’s true pride comes before a fall
i’m telling you so that you won’t lose all

i’m a loser and i lost someone who’s near to me
i’m a loser and i’m not what i appear to be