sky mall - my favorite things (one through eight)

recently, i had the pleasure of traveling from wisconsin to california and back. three flights to cali and three flights to wisconsin. some people may think this sounds painful, but it was actually really painful. totally worth it to see my family though. six flights and four layovers gave me ample opportunity to thoroughly explore, nay, experience, the skymall. that's right, the catalogue in the seatback in front of you that says, 'free copy - take it, we'll replace it!' sure, we've all glanced through it on a flight here and there, but i used three full flights to look at every item on every page. i have selected my top 34 favorite items and tonight will be listing items from the spy gadgets and anti-spy gadgets genres. my comments are in italics.

• multifunction sound-activated video camera pen: video pen is the easiest, stealthiest way to capture true events! collecting solid evidence often times requires keen discretion...

and presenting solid evidence in court requires you follow the law and get permission before recording people.

• spy ear: it's the next best thing to being a fly on the wall! the office can be a pretty hectic place these days, and it's not always easy or prudent to make every meeting…disguised as an innocuous penholder, the spyear actually holds a listening device…best of all, the spyear features a working digital face with a clock, calendar, and thermostat.

first of all how is it not prudent to make every meeting? i like that the self-proclaimed ‘best’ features are the clock, calendar, and thermostat.

• spy pen: carry an eyewitness in your pocket. click this pen and it doesn't just write words it records video…nobody needs to know that you're recording…by the way, this pen writes, too.

‘by the way, this pen writes too.’ i would hope so! otherwise, it would just be a spy.

• orbitor electronic listening device: "hear" and "see" a conversation from a football field away…this secret surveillance device is perfect for when you really need to know what's going on!

i’m not quite sure why ‘hear’ and ‘see’ have quote marks around them. i’m also not sure how ‘secret’ this surveillance device is.

• agent cam color video spy camcorder: keep your family and personal belongings safe using cutting edge spy gear. what happens while you're away? let's face it. our vision is limited to what we can see in the moment…slip into your shirt pocket, and you'll have access to a whole new world of information you didn't see before.

let’s face it, how many audiences are you trying to appeal to? families who want to protect themselves or wanna-be spies/techno geeks? and btw, a mini camera is not going to keep your family safe.

• mega-mini pro spy camera: audio-activated portable dvr camera with amazing video quality. about the size of a stick of gum, this miniature camcorder is perfect for covert operations on-the-move…every mega mini spy camera pro comes complete with the camera, the belt/pocket clip, the neck strap, the dash mount and 1 recharger…this camera can be mounted on anything such as a helmet, bike, car, jacket, and more for the ultimate in portability and on-the-go recording.

i’m pretty sure, of all of those options, the bike will be the most-used by people buying this product.

• mini bug detector: mini handheld device is able to detect and locate the presence of concealed wireless transmitters ("bugs") that are operating in the 50 mhz to 3 ghz range. led bar display and optional audio alarm helps locate hidden devices. with adjustable rf sensitivity level to minimize false alarms.

a, i'm pretty sure the people who buy these things are the same ones who buy the spy gadgets. and b, how many calls has the fbi gotten from people using this kind of device (and this was not the only one in the catalogue, btw) who are convinced their house is being bugged? way to feed the paranoia skymall!

the next installment of 'sky mall - my favorite things' includes items such as a kitty cat potty training set, freeze-dried sod from yankee stadium, solar-powered luggage, a holiday yeti, and much, much more!