i want a house

i want a house. i've wanted one for a while, but it's come to the point that every time i drive by a 'for sale' sign, i slow down and imagine myself in that house. sometimes i even stop and get the flyer.

i want a house. i know, i know, that means yard mowing and snow shoveling and repairs i'll have to pay for, but i want a house. to that end, i've come up with a three-pronged plan.

prong a: copps monopoly. for the last two months, i've been actively playing our local grocery store's monopoly sweepstakes. the grand prize is a house and i want it. every time you shop, you get a ticket with four game pieces. you match these game pieces to your monopoly board. there are lots of prizes, the main one being the house. the sweepstakes goes through the end of august so i only have a few weeks left to win my house. game pieces a102 and a106, the two i need for my house, seem to be very elusive.

prong b: save. if, by some chance, i don't win the house in the grocery store game, i've set up my direct deposit paycheck to split between my checking and savings accounts. in about four years, i'll have the twenty percent down payment for a $200,000 house and enough to cover closing costs, inspections, and the first year of taxes. i'll want a fifteen-year fixed-rate loan (no more than 4%) for 80% of the price of the house. i've found you can also finance your down payment, but that just doesn't seem like a great financial decision. i've also done research on first-time homebuyer breaks and hired lawn care. (did you really think i was going to mow my own lawn?)

the problem is, i don't want to wait four years for my house. and here is where prong c comes in: marry a rich man. i want to get married anyway, so why not find someone who can afford to buy a house? or who already has a house? or who has a relative who's about to will a house to him? really, the possiblities are endless when you throw another potential home-owner into the mix.

so, next steps. keep playing the grocery store monopoly game. in the event i don't beat the impossible statistical chances and win the grand prize, i'll just keep saving. in the meantime, i'll be keeping my eye out for a man with a house. or with enough money for a house. with a plan like this, a house will be mine in no time. and by no time, i mean the amount of time it will take me to save thousands and thousands of dollars.

my transformers 3 movie review - surprisingly emotional

yesterday i saw transformers 3 (awesome movie NOT in disguise). about the fourth time i found myself crying, i realized i hadn't taken my meds in way too long. i mean, the movie is really good, and they do use some original footage from the space shuttle landing on the moon, but six-cries-emotional? i'm not sure about that. (i said i realized i'd been off my meds at the fourth cry, not that that was the last time i cried)

warning: this post includes spoilers!

cry #1: john f. kennedy talking about the us-russian space race and hearing the famous neil armstrong's 'one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind' (again, they used original historical archival film - it was powerful!).

cry #2: sam witwicky (played by shia lebeouf) saying goodbye to the autobots 'cause they were banned from earth by short-sighted government officials. sam saying goodbye to optimus was hard, but bumblebee? fuh-get about it! i was a mess.

cry #3: hottie-hot-hottie major lennox (josh duhamel) asking which of the military guys will fight with him and a bunch of military guys saying, 'i will'. i love our military! they defend our country and our earth from invading alien forces. they rock.

cry #4: the autobots returning and optimus prime saying they were never going to leave in the first place.

cry #5: bumblebee mourning over the loss of another autobot and then almost getting killed as sam looks on, helpless.

cry #6: optimus prime's closing monologue: in any war, there are calms between the storms. there will be days when we lose faith. days when our allies turn against us... but the day will never come when we forsake this planet and it's people. for i am optimus prime, and I send this message to the universe: we are here. we are home.

whew!

there were also lots of moments that made me laugh - seriously, i was bi-polar during this two+ hour flick. when it was over, no joke, i almost clapped. i never clap at movies. live performances? sure. it makes sense. canned movies? that's just silly. but i almost couldn't help myself. but i did. 'cause it was just a movie. i see that now. during, i was caught up in a torrent of tears, tension, and titters. but today, i've recovered, and i'd just like to say, go see transformers: dark of the moon! it's awesome!

and i am not a nerd.

sort of a retraction

so the other night, i wanted to show the adults at the dinner table how adorable my nephew is. there's a good chance the other adults, who were his parents and aunt, knew how adorable he is already, but i wanted to make sure.

"b, can you tell us what the months of the year are?" i asked, smiling to myself as i anticipated his answer.

"jan-yerry, feh-rurry, march -"

"whoa, whoa, whoa! that's not what you told me the other night!?!?"

"but that's what they are!" he said, a little bit confused.

i suppose, if you're using a calendar, but that was not the answer i was expecting. he did leave out april, the most important month, especially the one occurring in 1977, but other than that, he pretty much got them right.

so, it turns out my adorable four-year-old nephew does, indeed, know the months of the year. boo. (ok, and yay, i'm glad he's such a smart little guy)

a conversation with my nephew and niece

me: there are days, weeks, months, and years
my adorable four-year-old nephew: how many months are in a year?
me: twelve
my adorable four-year-old nephew: yeah, summer, fall, halloween, summer, and winter, right?
me: right.

me: give auntie a kiss?
my adorable two-year-old niece: nooo
me: give auntie a hug?
my adorable two-year-old niece: nooo
me: polly wanna cracker?
my adorable two-year-old niece: nooo
me: ice-cream?
my adorable two-year-old niece: i-keam? i-keam? i-keam! i-keam!
me: give auntie a kiss?
my adorable two-year-old niece: nooo

finder's fee

a finder's fee is the compensation given to an intermediary in a business transaction. usually, there is a causal relationship between the one party and the intermediary (the finder), another relationship between the finder and the second party, and the two parties of the transaction would not have met if it weren't for the work of the finder. such compensation is common in business and is regulated by contractual agreements and law in the united states. a finder's fee can also be a gift from one party of the transaction, who feel morally obligated that the profits of the transaction be shared with the finder for making that transaction possible. source: wikipedia

i was going to offer a dowry, but after researching the practice, i realized it wasn't quite applicable. so, i'm offering a finder's fee. the finder's fee is for anyone who finds me a husband. although this finding is worth much more than monetary compensation, it's what i'm willing to offer. fifty dollars, usd, to whoever finds me a husband.

terms: i have to like the found male. he must like me in return. we must mutally agree to be wed. the finder will play no part in the agreement of said wedding, but will probably be invited to attend. in the event that said wedding does not occur, however promising it may look, the finder will not receive the finder's fee. disputes about these terms can be directed to my hand.

required characteristics of said husband: christian, single, breathing, steadily employed, not living with parents, thinks i'm hilarious.

preferred characteristics of said husband: witty, educated, tall, interested in world travel, handy.

men with a previous marriage and/or children are welcome to apply. men who are currently married, or who use any type of illegal drug, are not.