it's warm outside, but inside, i'm cold

it is currently forty degrees in madison. madisonianites throughout the city are practically wearing shorts and t-shirts in honor of the un-seasonably warm weather. the streets are wet with melting snow and bushes and plants are peaking out from under diminishing piles of crystalized precipitation. we didn't have a thaw mid-winter last year so the snow just piled higher and higher all season until spring came. i think i like it but i'm pretty sure it will just illicit extra hard complaining during the next snow.

so outside, it's warm, but inside, my heart is frozen. in three days, flavia takes my two favorite things in the world away for a month. she might as well rip my heart out and stomp on it with spikes. blake and ziva are going to see three sets of grandparents, various aunts and uncles, and numerous cousins in two states before returning to me, a shell of a human being. they won't remember me, and they will have grown up and become completely different people, but they will return to me. excuse me, i need to blow my nose and wipe my eyes.

last night i prayed their flights out of wisconsin get cancelled. is that bad? i know it's selfish, but is it bad? i want them to see their grandparents, i would just rather their grandparents come to madison to see them. a month for goodness sake! sigh. sad face. sigh again.

ps - i didn't really pray their flights get cancelled mom. god knew i wasn't asking for real.