"stone throwing seems inappropriate, regardless of housing situation" - demetri martin

24 March 2011

dr. brilliant

tuesday night i escaped, uh, i mean, took a break, from class and as i walked through the atrium i saw a sign for an upcoming seminar. the name of the speaker caught my eye: murray brilliant, phd...dr. brilliant?! are you kidding me? how awesome is that name? and then i got to wondering, do you think, because of his name, murray felt obligated to get his doctorate? do you think, growing up, his teachers had higher expectations of him because of his name? do you think he spent his childhood hearing comments like, 'with a name like that, you'll do great things for sure!' that's a lot of pressure. maybe he really is brilliant. dr. brilliant.
brilliant.

21 March 2011

lent

i had a meeting last week on the 14th floor of warf. as i got off the elevator i saw my friends nancy and john. john looked slightly out of breath. john is in great physical shape so i guessed the only thing i could think of that would cause him to breathe heavily. 'john,' i said, 'did you walk up the stairs?!' indeed, he had. 'wow!', i said, 'i'm impressed.' 'don't be,' he said, 'catholic guilt, i gave up the elevator for lent.' i was still impressed and made him give me a high five. quick-witted nancy piped up, 'i gave up sweating for lent.' she got a high five too.

and here's a little history of lent: lent in the christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year from ash wednesday to easter. the traditional purpose of lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, repentance, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during holy week of the death and resurrection of jesus, which recalls the events linked to the passion of christ and culminates in easter, the celebration of the resurrection of jesus christ.

17 March 2011

why i won't wear green today

st. patrick: st. patrick was not born in ireland, but in britain. irish brigands kidnapped st. patrick at 16 and brought him to ireland. he was sold as a slave in the county of antrim and served in bondage for six years until he escaped to gaul, in present-day france. he later returned to his parents' home in britain, where he had a vision that he would preach to the irish. after 14 years of study, patrick returned to ireland, where he built churches and spread the christian faith for some 30 years.

saint patrick’s day: saint patrick's day is a religious holiday celebrated internationally on 17 march. it commemorates saint patrick (c. ad 387–461), the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of ireland, and the arrival of christianity in ireland. it is observed by the catholic church, the anglican communion (especially the church of ireland), the eastern orthodox church and the lutheran church. saint patrick's day was made an official roman catholic feast day in the early 17th century, and has gradually become a celebration of irish culture in general.

catholics vs. protestants: the terrible combination of nationalism, politics and religion has had deadly consequences for the people living in northern ireland. catholics and protestants have been vilifying, attacking, torturing and killing each other in a seemingly endless cycle for decades. the origins of ireland's "troubles" lie in the distant past of english imperialism. the creation of an anglican protestant church also created a fundamental religious conflict with an irish population having little interest in converting with their neighbors. it wasn't until the reign of elizabeth i that ireland was finally "conquered," but she was never able to halt regular catholic uprisings. conflict has continued ever since, becoming ‘the norm’ for the irish.

...in 1985, a relatively quiet year, authorities recorded fifty-four assassinations, 148 bombings, 237 shootings, 916 woundings, 522 arrests on terrorism charges, 31 kneecappings (shooting out a person's kneecaps) and 3.3 tons of explosives and weapons seized. all this in a tiny country with a population of 1.5 million people.
the wearing of the green: the colors of the republic of ireland are a tricolor of green, white, and orange. the green represents the catholic population, the orange the protestant, and the white the peace between them. the clashes in ireland between the catholics and protestants are often clashes of the green and the orange. the traditional pinching of a person who wears orange (or doesn’t wear green) on st. patrick's day is a mild form of the violence that has so often occurred in the past.

although the united states has taken on the celebration of st. patrick’s day with parades and river dying, guiness drinking and corned-beef and cabbage eating, very few americans are aware of the true meaning of the wearing of the green. i know i have a tendency to make a big deal out of things no one else does, but i just can’t wear green on st. patrick’s day. to do so would show support of a long-standing political conflict masked by religious debate.

15 March 2011

younger and hipper

today a co-worker approached me with a "very important question". as a "younger and hipper" representative of the world (her words, not mine), she needed me to interpret a phrase that had meant one thing when she was in college but now, she was pretty sure, meant something else entirely. she was correct that my hips are younger than hers, but just barely. and she was right that the phrase she was using has a new meaning. we discussed how "young and hip" was definitely relative since my sister considers me an old woman just because i keep foot cream on the table next to my bed. hey, my feet need moisturizing! she also says i'm old because i use words like 'gal' and 'okey-dokey'. i thought of another one the other day but haven't had a chance to use it yet: 'it's a gas!' isn't that cute? i think it's a gas! ha! i used it!

speaking of my sister, she'll be in madison in eleven days. yay!!!!

01 March 2011

poetry by penny

friday morning i awoke with a sore throat. drat, i thought, i don't have time to be sick. a lack of time, notwithstanding, i proceeded to get sicker throughout the day and by friday night, i was in a bad way. coughdrops weren't cutting it, airborne wasn't doing a thing, orange juice, puh-leeze. i had to pull out the big guns. the nightime sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffyhead fever so you can rest should be federally regulated medicine. as the nyquil suffused my body, i could feel myself laying heavier and heavier on the matress. turning my head took so much effort. strange, i thought slowly. and then the poetry began. i giggled as i drifted off to sleep. something about yoda? when the drugs wore off around four-thiry am, i struggled to remember my poem.

nyquil taken
heavy feeling
yoda talking
goodnight

i didn't say it was good poetry. ah, nyquil. not only do you help me sleep, you give me funny stories. my sister said nyquil should have a contest for craziest nyquil stories. i can only imagine.